Everyone loves a happy ending. Turns out, though, that life doesn't have happy endings. You just die and get thrown in the ground.

So, in the spirit of making Hollywood's creative efforts more like real life, Free Pants has figured out how many of your favorite "happy ending" movies really play out.

# 1. Field of Dreams

Movie Ending:
Ray Kinsella’s (Costner) financial and emotional burdens are resolved when his father and friends (dead Chicago White Sox!) play baseball games for a seemingly endless supply of spectators willing to pay big bucks.

Real-Life Ending:
The Chicago Cubs ask to play on the field and suck so badly everyone goes home. Ray's dead father tells him he is a huge failure. Ray sells the farm to Home Depot. The “voice” now announces spring sales on lawnmowers.

# 2. Say Anything



Movie Ending:
"Romantic" loser Lloyd Dobler (Cusack) tags along with attractive go-getter Diane Court (Skye) on her trip to Europe while the guy from Frasier claiming to be her father rots in jail. Wait. That’s a happy ending?

Real-Life Ending:
She breaks up with him two weeks later when she realizes his “romantic” attitude can’t pay for new brake pads. She starts dating an insurance salesman. Mimicking famous scene in which he declares his love while holding a giant boom box, Lloyd gets a job at Nathan’s wearing a sandwich board on the street. Sign reads: “2 for 1 Wieners!”

# 3. Tootsie



Movie Ending:
Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange) sleeps with her love interest (Hoffman) who, for the duration of the movie, pretends to be her mentor… and a woman.

Real-Life Ending:
Julie and Michael make it for a while until they see the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. Seeing the parallels in Robin Williams' and Michael's insane behavior, she breaks up with him on the spot.

# 4. Sleepless in Seattle



Movie Ending:
After relentlessly stalking widower Sam Baldwin (Hanks), Annie (Ryan) finally snags the man of her dreams atop the Empire State Building. Why did she decide to risk losing her boring fiance (with ALLERGIES!)? While listening to Sam on the radio, they said the word "magic" at the same time. Most people just say "jinx." Annie sends a swat team to hunt down her prey.

Real-Life Ending:
Two weeks later, Sam and Annie realize they have nothing in common. After a huge blowout over abortion rights, Annie says the "magic" is gone and goes back to her fiance. Sam starts drinking. Several years later they reunite atop the Sears tower and jump off together.

# 5. Finding Nemo



Movie Ending:
When Nemo (Gould) goes missing, it's up to his nebbish father (Brooks) and the friends he meets along the way to find him. Guess what? He's dead. Just kidding. They find him and learn lessons along the way.

Real-Life Ending:
Kirstie Alley finds, cooks, and eats the fish. Then heads out to Baskin Robbins.

# 6. Freaky Friday (remake)



Movie Ending:
After a harrowing (and hilarious) misadventure involving body/soul swapping between mother and daughter, Tess and Anna Coleman (Jamie Lees Curtis, Lindsay Lohan), the girls are put back into their own bodies and discover what it really means to walk a mile in the other's shoes.

Real-Life Ending:
Tess' husband gets drunk at a party and sleeps with her, not knowing she's really the daughter. After they switch back, they call the cops and arrest the father for statutory rape of his own daughter. Plus a cameo by Robert Loggia!